Channel Swim to-do list, item number 57a: create a feeding plan.

There are many things to do with this project which are either a faff (medical paperwork), just plain difficult (finding a pair of speedos that don't make me look like I should be in police custody), or boring (long pool swims).

Snacking, however, is something to which I have always had a deep personal committment, so in this case duty is a pleasure.

Feeding is a double-edged sword on a channel swim. On one hand, the feeds tend to be quite frequent, little-and-often being a proven strategy for most swimmers. Hence you not only have a little snack to look forward to at 30-minute intervals, but you can also mentally break the swim down into 30-minute blocks - "I'm not swimming the channel", you can lie to yourself cheerfully - "I'm just swimming to the next feed".

On the other hand, feeding can become a massive time-drain on your swim, purely because of the duration and therefore the sheer number of feeds. Pilots, who have seen more of this than anyone else, recommend keeping your feeds to 30 seconds, no more. That might not sound a lot (and it isn't) but the key-stage 1 arithmetic is brutal. Feeding every 30 minutes, for 30 seconds, gives you a total 'stop' time of around 14 minutes over a 14-hour swim. Add just another 30 seconds per feed, and all of a sudden you are factoring in nearly half an hour of being stopped in the water. Stopped, but not stationary, because the tide (see my earlier post on this) is still doing its stuff at up to 2 knots, pulling you further away from the shortest course to land.

So Julie Andrews may have enjoyed schnitzel with noodles, but the criteria when choosing what to feed on definitely rule that one out (and if you don't get these references, where have you been all your life? Go see a musical). 

Basic principles I'm applying for planning my channel feeds, broken down into two main areas:

Intake limits

From my brief flirtation with Ironman, I know that the body can only process around 0.8-1g of carbohydrate per Kilo of bodyweight, per hour - that's a little more than 300 calories worth of carbs for me - but I'll be burning closer to 7-800 calories per hour as I swim. The balance is made up from glycogen stored in the liver, and by the body metabolising fat (no shortage there). So whilst it can be tempting to eat lots early on and feel like you're 'fuelling up' (before you start feeling terrible), the body's inability to deal with it will almost inevitably lead to some, ahem, digestive distress. Hence my feed plan will aim to stick to that magic number of 70g or so of Carbs / 300 Calories per hour - that's roughly the calorie equivalent of a standard-sized mars bar.

Practicalities

The feeds need to stay short, so whatever you consume has to be easy and quick to get down, and easy to pass from boat to swimmer. The more the swim goes on, the less easy it is for the swimmer to feed due to: cold/numb/cramped hands (it's not unusual for the fingers to begin to 'claw' in the latter stages); sore & swollen tongue and throat due to all the salt water, making it less easy to swallow; general reduced dexterity and awareness due to cold and fatigue. I have a cunning plan for the feeding itself - more of that in a future post. 

The GOLDEN RULE is not to use anything you haven't practiced with extensively before, so almost everything listed below with the notable exception of rice pudding is stuff I have trained and/or competed with in the past. 

So...

There will be three main components to my feeding (I'm going to mention brand names here in case helpful to anyone planning something similar, but trust me, I'm not shilling for any of them. Unless of course you are the MD of Cadbury's or Torq and want to donate a fat wad of cash to the Carers Trust, in which case I will happily do the swim dressed as a mini-roll.) 

Tasting notes are also provided in italics where appropriate.

1. Torq energy drink powder, pre-mixed with cold water in double-concentration then topped up with hot water (to help with heat-loss) by my crew just before they hand it to me. Pink Grapefruit is my current parfum du choix; sharp and not oversweet, a perfect foil to the saltiness and stray effluent. This will be the most consistent part of my feeding (I will drink on every feed). 60 calories per 250ml.

2. Torq energy gels. These things are awesome (if you have a massive sweet tooth). Think fruit-flavoured sweetened condensed milk, although it's slightly disconcerting when you look down and see that the gel is completely clear. Favourite flavours in ascending order of preference:

• Black Cherry Yoghurt - a bold assault on the senses, with a smooth, slightly acidic finish. 
• Raspberry Ripple - lacking complexity for the more sophisticated palate, but a perfect balance of sweet and sharp, with just a whiff of ozone. A weekend at the seaside in an easy-to-open foil pouch.
• Rhubarb and Custard - the Champion of Champions, my go-to source when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad. A full-frontal attack on the tastebuds, School Dinners served by Schwarzenegger.

I will probably have one of these every other feed. 114 Calories per Gel.

3. Treats. These are exactly as described; not necessarily there to provide significant calories, but important to give some respite from the saltiness (and artificiality of the products above), and as morale-boosters, esp. in the back half of the swim. In no particular order:

• Cadbury's Mini-Rolls. On my Mallorca training camp, most of us took very well to the cheap Spanish chocolate cake we were fed during the 6-hour swim. Not to diss them at all, but Mini-Rolls are the Brit equivalent. Slightly dirty, but in a very good way. 115 Calories per roll (but fewer accessible calories from carbs).
• Tinned Peaches. Hadn't come across this idea before Mallorca, but turns out that tinned peaches are to excess salt in the back of the throat what Margaret Thatcher was to the trade-union movement. Melt-in-the-mouth, giving an instant reviving sugar hit (the peaches, that is). 60 Calories per 100g dose.
• Rice Pudding. This is as-yet untried, but having heard good reports from other swimmers, I will be 'experimenting' with rice pudding over the next few weeks. This could be a palatable way of incorporating some potentially stomach-settling dairy. (My friend Paul Powell swears by watered-down milk, which seems to work really well for him, but you know... BARF). Creamy but with lumps. Still not sure. 142 Calories per 100g dose.

So where is my feed plan? Well I sat down to start it this morning, but ended up writing this instead... So the detail needs work but in the end I need to try and put away 250ml of drink every half hour (realistically I doubt I can chug much more than that quickly) , a gel every other half hour, and then a different treat in between the gels to get me up to the 300 Calorie / 70g carbs per hour mark.

The catch is that from previous experience I will probably struggle to stick to this - especially the Gel - for the whole duration of the swim, and hence probably need to expand the range of possible options as fall-backs. I MUST keep feeding - once I stop, it will be game-over, since the calories I can metabolise from fat won't be enough, and I will first become unbelievably grumpy and then grind to a halt.

I know from speaking to all the people who read my blog that both of them really enjoy hearing about the practicalities of channel swimming, so I'll be coming back to this topic in a later post with more logistical details involving retractable dog leashes and protein-shake bottles. I know you can't wait. Me either.

In the meantime if you have suggestions for great treats-on-the-go, please do put them in the comments box below.

Right, where's that pizza menu...